Never again under my watch will slut shaming go unchallenged. There will always be an ally with me, Jane Does. 

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You haven’t been forgotten.

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We wore red and black and made a facebook event page, we’ll be doing it again April 12 if anyone here wants to join in. https://www.facebook.com/events/172208036263703/

We wore red and black and made a facebook event page, we’ll be doing it again April 12 if anyone here wants to join in. https://www.facebook.com/events/172208036263703/

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Jane Doe, I love you

Jane, I cannot put into words how much I admire you.  I can’t imagine what you have been through, and what you continue to go through, even as you are trying to put the past behind you.  On behalf of women everywhere, and other victims who haven’t gotten the justice they deserve, THANK YOU.  I know what you’re going through is hard, but it will get better.  I mean, look at all these love letters to you! Keep your head up girl. Thanks for being strong.

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Dear Jane Doe,

You are an amazing, strong person.  Do not listen to the people trying to tear you down.  You did the right thing-an incredibly brave thing-in standing up and saying, NO.  WHAT HAPPENED WAS NOT RIGHT.  You have my best wishes.

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Dear Jane Doe

There is nothing more I want to do than to send you and your family love and support. You are an incredibly brave, beautiful, strong young woman and you deserve for things to get better. I promise you they will. Keep hoping for the future and don’t stop fighting. Blessed be.

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You are Brave, Beautiful and Strong

Dear Jane Doe,

I wanted to send you love and support in this difficult time, as a man who respects the women he has in his life: grandmothers, mothers, sisters, aunts, cousins and nieces.

I believe those boys (should not even claim themselves as men) should be jailed for years and not have parole. They are despicable.

I support you against all of the people that blame you. Those people are cruel and insensitive and have no right to treat you that way. You are not the one to be blamed. You did nothing wrong.

I want you to remain strong because you help women everywhere who are afraid to speak out. I wish you the best in your time of need.

Sincerely,

Thanh Nguyen

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Dear Jane Doe

Hello, I don’t know if you’ll ever see this, but I hope you do.  I wrote this as part of a blog that I published a few days ago, detailing how I also was sexually assaulted, and the effect that both the assault itself and the victim-blaming I faced after the assault had on me:

Please don’t listen to the people who tell you that you’re to blame for what happened to you.  You should have been safe.  Someone should have stood up for you, covered you up, and made sure that you got somewhere where no one would force sexual contact on you.  Someone should have protected you when you were unable to protect yourself.  You did not in any way deserve what happened; the most that should have happened is awakening with a horrible hangover and being grounded until you turn 30 when your parents found out you were drinking illegally.  I hope that you’re able to trust again.  I hope that you’re able to understand that not all boys will ever do to you what was done that night, and that the “boys” who did force themselves on you are scumbags, because only scumbags would take advantage of a person who is unconscious and unable to consent to sexual contact.

I’m sorry for what you’ve had to endure.  I know how painful it is.  But above all, know this: You are strong, and you will get through this.  You aren’t alone, and there are millions of people out there who only know you as Jane Doe who would love nothing more than to hug you, wipe away your tears, and tell you that you are loved and admired for standing up to injustice.  Please don’t stop.  Be brave, and know that there are millions supporting you.  And I’ll tell you the same thing that my therapist told me:  You aren’t a victim, you are a survivor.  And don’t you ever forget it or let anyone tell you otherwise.

The full blog is here:
http://aseekersmusings.wordpress.com/2013/03/19/dear-jane-doe/

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Jane Doe, whoever you are, I am so, so sorry that this happened to you. What those boys did was horrible, awful, and cruel in every conceivable way, and I can’t imagine how you must be feeling. Please know that you are not alone, and we are rooting for you. NONE of this is your fault. You didn’t deserve what happened to you that night, and you don’t deserve any of the terrible treatment you are receiving right now. You are beautiful, wonderful, intelligent, and brave, especially in the face of a culture that coddles rapists and shushes women like you.

Whatever you might be feeling right now—anger, sadness, fear, or relief, just know that it is okay for you to feel that way. Do you forgive your attackers, feel pity for them? Awesome, that is your right. Will you NEVER forgive them? Great, that is ALSO your right. Do not let anyone tell you how to think, feel, or react about whatever has happened, or will happen. Your feelings are your own, and they are correct.

You have the rest of your life ahead of you to live, and I am confident that with time, and a little help from Team You (that is, friends, family, health and legal professionals, or other trustworthy people who have your back), you will blossom into a wonderful, vibrant woman. As trite as this may sound, it WILL get better.

Hugs if you want them,
'Patia 

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All the terrible things that have happened to you are—and there’s honestly no other way I can think to say it—fucking bullshit. Especially everything after the conviction.

Remember that, while you are strong and brave, that doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed empathy, and moments of weakness and unhappiness, and you are entitled to ask others for their help. I hope you have people with you, more than just anonymous submitters on tumblr like me, who can be there for you when you are not strong and are not brave, because you are a person who deserves the strength and bravery of others when you are down.

We are with you. 

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